WEEK OF MARCH 5, 2006

Iron Maiden-themed In & Out Box lends "Rock 'n' Roll cred" to soul-crushing cubicle of despair.

Outlaw office supplies (AP)

SAN FRANCISCO--Local white-collar drudges Ben Deily and Dennis Pepa today unveiled their latest attempt to stave off the mind-numbing, spirit-destroying sterility of the cubicle in which their adult lives are inexorably slipping away: namely, "in" and "out" document holders, featuring the long-time Iron Maiden cartoon mascot Eddie.

"Dennis found an Iron Maiden font, and everything," eagerly added Deily, a former founding member of several fairly obscure bands. "Look! You see how the 'N' in 'IN' looks just like the N in the Iron Maiden logo? Killer."

"Eddie" engaged in undead-on-living violence. (AP)

Pepa voiced enthusiastic agreement. "It's pretty rad. I mean, putting Eddie strangling some dude on the 'out' box is kind of our way of saying, 'Hey, sure, we finished re-sizing your banner ad--but don't mess with this cubicle, man.'"

For his part, Deily nodded while brandished a three-fingered "devil's salute."

Speculative plans to further heighten the cubicle's "bad boy attitude" include the deployment of a small "skull and crossbones" flag, rock concert posters, and small novelty figurines depicting characters from the film "The Nightmare Before Christmas,"

"Hey, that's a Tim Burton movie, y'know--you can't get any more 'out there' than that," added Deily.

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Removal, rubbing and re-insertion of batteries
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NEWS archive...