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BREAKING NEWS:
Local Man Selects Reading Material For the Benefit of Other Subway Riders

CAMBRIDGE, MA--With an apparently ludicrous level of self-consciousness, local man Ben Deily is carefully choosing books for
his subway commute with an eye to fellow commuters, an interview revealed today.
"Well, jeez, yeah," admitted Deily, former C-list rock star and current "advertising executive." "I
admit it, I can get a bit preoccupied with what people might think when they see what I'm reading on the train.
"So, obviously, I have to devote a lot of thought to making sure it doesn't look like I put a lot of thought into
this..."


THE BANDS:
| Um, who? |

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| VARSITY DRAG: In Europe, I'm told, |

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| we're "bigger than Hasslehoff." |
| PODS: The brothers DEILY have |

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| come for your daughter, Jack. |
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